things i learned from orange is the new black.

my husband and i did the worst thing for our productivity known to mankind- we resubscribed to netflix.  i guess we have been living under a rock and never knew our nintendo wii could wirelessly hook up to our internet.  after some friends told us how to do it, we ran home like five year olds and hooked ours up with the intentions of me getting on the "breaking bad" bandwagon.  my husband was obsessed with the show and i was sick of not knowing what was going on- but instead we watched the entire first season of "orange is the new black."

when we first started watching this, i can honestly say i really didn't know what to think.  it's definitely one of the more different shows we have watched and i wouldn't recommend it to anyone who is uncomfortable with nudity and cursing.  it didn't bother us too much except for the occasional comments from my husband asking, "is this a porno?" and me swearing several friends had recommended it.  after the first couple of episodes, the nudity wasn't as bad and we started getting familiar with all the characters.  i'm usually not good staying involved in shows with too many characters because my attention span is about as long as our lab puppy's but this show does a really great job of introducing the characters to the viewer and sharing their background/why they are in prison.  another major help was helene's post about how this show is similar to mean girls, and who doesn't like mean girls?

now onto the important life lessons i learned from the show should i ever end up in prison:

never bite the hand that feeds you.  but seriously- don't insult the food especially if you have a head cook like red who will put unspeakable things in your food and/or starve you.  on second thoughts- it could make for a really good diet? 

don't go to prison if you look horrible in orange.  it takes forever for your khaki uniform come in and you wouldn't want to go all elle woods on them.

make sure you can use a maxi pad for any situation prison life may present to you.  this includes shower flip flops and a face mask to block germs.  but, if you want to avoid those creative situations all together- make sure you send your commissary money before you even go to prison to make sure it gets there on time.  because without that money, you can't buy things to trade to get your roots done.  and we all know that's something maxi pads cannot fix.

now that i have probably forever ruined your desire to go to prison watch "orange is the new black", i need a new show to get addicted to...any recommendations?

-HH